just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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