woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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