If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize