Non-Jews are for practice
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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