So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You pole danced in your parka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
