sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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