Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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