I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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