I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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