I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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