And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
