jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
