Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
