but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
