ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
