It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no you cant smoke seaweed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I would fuck him just for his dog
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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