I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
