Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
