Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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