Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
