I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
