Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dicks are not precious.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
