Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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