i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
