i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize