One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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