he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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