You really coming over, don't trick.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
