Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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