yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
