dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize