Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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