Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
