Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im holly from the hills drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
