I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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