We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize