Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
