I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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