We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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