I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
