I think I died a long time ago.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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