I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
