I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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