Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will pee on everything he values.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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