Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
