Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
