You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he shaved USA in his pubs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
