dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
