so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
