So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
