That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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