im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
