you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
