you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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