Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
