man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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