He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
