I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
