Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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